Fire Serpent

Alien fire serpents, thrown off from the Sun, have been coming to Earth for thousands of years, inspiring Biblical tales of devils and angels.  The most recent one was captured by the U.S. government to use as a weapon, but since this is a really cheap movie, only three people and one stunt man were watching it, so it got away.  Now it’s killing people here and there, because that’s what alien fire serpents do.  Fireman Jake (who I’ll just call Zander) and ex-government scientist Dutch Fallon know the truth, but police chick Chris doesn’t believe them, because it’s a really stupid thing to believe.  Of course it isn’t that simple.  Nope.  You see Agent Cooke and his government assassins are hushing up everything.  Worse, Cooke has become a religious fanatic, and has is own plans.  He thinks the fire serpent is an angel, sent by God to cleanse the world with fire, and he’s going to help it do that.

More than proof of the existence, or lack there of, of God, Fire Serpent is proof that for some, there is no life after cult TV.  Nicholas Brendon helped fight the forces of evil on Buffy the Vampire Slayer for seven years.  Robert Beltran explored the Alpha Quadrant for an equal length of time on Star Trek: Voyager.  Now they’re stuck in low, low, low (did I say “low” enough?  Probably not) budget genre film land.  Still, what do they have to complain about?  I’m sure they’re getting paid more than me.

Fire Serpent is an inoffensive, mildly enjoyable (as in, you won’t mind having seen it if your other option was rearranging your sock drawer) sci-fi monster movie.  If you’re a pyromaniac, it will be your favorite movie since Backdraft.  I guess setting people on fire has become substantially less expensive in recent years.  It doesn’t enter new territory, but I did perk up when Agent Cooke began blurting out Biblical prophecies and calling on the angels to renew the planet with flame.  I’ve heard that kind of gibberish so often from evangelicals and it is always frightening.  Cooke is a pretty typical fanatic who just happens to have access to some nasty toys.

It’s got to make you think: Is it really safe for a fundamentalist Christian to have access to a nuclear weapon?  I don’t just mean the president, but the officers and everyone in-between.  Figure: we’re talking about people who are longing for the end of the world so they can join their beloved Jesus, and think that sinners (i.e. everyone who doesn’t join in on the chanting) deserves to be fried.  Plus, they don’t have to feel guilt or hesitation over their actions because it’s God’s will.  And doesn’t God seem to always need people to carry out his will?  I tend to think we’re safe from a fundie getting control of a flaming extraterrestrial, but there are a lot worse things already on Earth.

How would a fundamentalist react to an actual alien?  As there are tons of books written by fundies that explain how the pyramids were build under the influence of demons, and that UFO sightings can be explained as either the appearance of angels or of devils, I’ve got to bet that they would classify it as a member of the heavenly host or of the hordes of hell, depending on the appearance of the creature.  It is such a simple view of the Universe.

Fire Serpent isn’t particularly deep.  Nor interesting.  But it has a pretty accurate account of why fundies are scary people